benedictxvi@vatican.va

Dear Herr Pope:

I'm a freshman at a small midwestern university and I never thought I'd be writing to you like this, but I just have to tell you about my experience one night.

I was in the basement of the dormitory doing my laundry and studying my, um, Bible, when suddenly, a raven-haired woman, about five-foot seven, and built like a brick shi...

*REMOVED BY BLOGGER ADMINISTRATOR*

...and that's why I love Ranch Dressing so much.

Is that a mortal, or merely a venal sin?

Thanks, Holy Dude.

Attaturk.