But unsolicited emails are a-okay

To: Atta J. Turk

Greetings. My name is Mbago Shoenecki and my sixth cousin, once removed, was President of the Republic of Nigeria sometime in the 17th Century, look it up, it's in Wikipedia...really. I am writing to you to obtain your name, social security number, and various credit card numbers (expiration dates too please) because of the possibility you are an incredible imbecile. That may seem presumptuous of me, but then again, your nation did elect George W. Bush so the odds cannot be all that bad.

But even so, not fat chicks or gays.