Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Banned Words of 2011™: Q2 Update

New items in bold. As always, please add your suggestions in comments.

Because it's never too early to put the world on notice...
  1. Frenemies
  2. Social Media
  3. Sexting
  4. Obamabot
  5. How's that workin' out for ya? (courtesy (you never did) The Kenosha Kid)
  6. Establishment
  7. Mainstream
  8. Lamestream (courtesy Michael from comments)
  9. Emboldened (courtesy Anonymous from comments)
  10. Litmus Test
  11. Blowout preventer
  12. Top Kill (courtesy Iko from comments)
  13. Real Housewives of ___________
  14. Gaga
  15. Junk Shot (courtesy Iko from comments)

Looks like he can't afford the co-pay again

Joe Klein, always reliably able to accuse others of using gross generalizations, by using even grosser generalizations!


Greenwald--who, so far as I can tell, only regards the United States as a force for evil in the world


Yes, Joe -- he certainly is "as far as you can tell".

I'm going back to my vacation.


HARRUMPH, HARRUMPH, HARRUMPH!

BONER!!!

Get out there and work you selfish old farts, so we can have more of our awesome wars!!!!

Last week, a hearing called by the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights examined the issue, attempting to determine whether part of the reason older workers have such trouble finding work, on aggregate, is due to employer biases out of their control. The unemployment rate is a comparatively moderate 7.1 percent for workers over the age of 55 — it’s 9.7 percent nationally — as older workers are more likely to retire early or leave the workforce if they lose their jobs. But that hides the troubling reality for those who can’t afford to leave the labor force.

The unemployment rate for over-55s is at the highest level since 1948. Since the recession started, both the number of older people seeking work and the rate of unemployment for over-55s have increased more sharply than for all other demographic groups. And older workers comprise a high share of the long-term unemployed. In May, the average duration of unemployment for older job-seekers climbed to 44.2 weeks, 11 more weeks than the national average. Nearly six in ten older job-seekers have been out of work for more than six months.


A major reason "retirement" investing is encouraged and why social security is important is efficiency. It is not just that it is "NICE" to retire, it is that it is important the older generation retire to open spots for succeeding age groups. But that bias spills over in different ways, if you don't get to fit into the classic model and get fired for whatever reason in middle-age or later, before you are ready to retire YOU ARE SCREWED.

The fact that this is becoming more prevalent, is just further indication that not only is Boehner a war-mongering idiot, he has no fucking idea how the actual world is operating outside the village -- or more likely doesn't fucking care.

Good career plan

TLC, the channel that is about one families attempt to keep a weirdass woman serially impregnated by her weirdass husband until they give birth to a "small person" they can spin off into yet another show -- maybe "The Little Podiatrist" or some shit has yet ANOTHER show for sociopaths.

TLC’s new show, “Strange Sex.”

The focus of the show will be bizarre conditions, such as the fictional sex addiction, fetishes and kinky sexual behavior. The premiere will feature a 73-year-old cougar, who hooks up with a guy in his 30s.

Other topics during the series will be someone with a balloon fetish (whatever that is) and a woman who strives to have an orgasm during childbirth. [Sun-Sentinel]


Oh, and they are also the home for noted-historian Sarah Palin's someday show about "The Little Pipeline Inspectors" or something.

I bet they replace him with someone younger...like Regis

Larry King is retiring to spend more time avoiding his many families.

Glenn Beck's grandpa!


Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises

Father, Son, and Thirty-aught-Six


I know there are various interpretations of "The Ten Commandments", many badly acted -- the Catholic Church has spent years trying to shoe-horn in clerical celibacy into them -- with some notable exceptions. But I don't recall any Bush, be it burning or non-sentient, proclaiming that your right to a .38 Special comes directly from the Almighty.

But in questioning Elena Kagan on their obviously mutual love of fire-arms, Chuck Grassley manages to demand the recognition of such a right from God, while hilariously misquoting the Declaration of Independence. Sadly, it appears that Steve King now does all the thinking, such as it is, for Iowa's congressional delegation.

So remember America, in the past 24 hours we've learned from the GOP: rape and guns are part of God's plan -- as is getting off your retirement age ass so we can keep financing awesome wars (and bank bailouts) just so we can have young soldiers come back and be homeless.

USA! (bang bang) USA! (bang bang) USA! (bang bang)

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Yeah, it's just like that

God and gay box-turtle fearing John Cornyn to Elena Kagan:

"Liberty is not a cruise ship full of pampered passengers. Liberty is a man of war, and we're all the crew."


Cornyn loves stories about seamen.

And in the location of the abhorrent Supreme Court Decision

Chicago:

Ten people were killed and at least 44 others were shot across the city Friday night into early Monday, including a baby girl who suffered a graze wound to the neck when gunfire erupted at a Near West Side barbecue.


I'm sure James Madison would be suitably proud and think that is EXACTLY the freedom the Second Amendment is all about.

Luddites of Opportunity

When is Sepp Blatter (which frankly sounds like a reason for a German doctor to tell you to drink cranberry juice) going to accept unobtrusive new technology to assist referees in assessing whether a goal has been scored?

Never, apparently, Blatter opposes such modern inventions...as he will tell you on his Twitter account.

Bang bang bang

Now even the Supreme Court apparently cannot read the opening clause of the Second Amendment.

Stevens, oh how I'll miss him, speaks for me.

On in the minds of the modern conservative does 'well-regulated' mean non-regulated.

Hmmmm...

Sully,

Thoughts On Byrd

Speak no ill of the dead? Well, let me simply say that the racist, populist, larcenous bigot of a Senator - a man who robbed the American tax-payer to pave his state with baubles and bribes - is not going to be much mourned in these parts.


Andrew having called Byrd a racist will undoubtedly within the next month find some new excuse to praise "The Bell Curve".

Monday, June 28, 2010

Jim Crow was an awesome model for Judicial Restraint

So it has come to this, a Southern Conservative, "Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Third" (that's right), goes after Elena Kagan for associating with Thurgood Marshall.

The press is too accepting of this bullshit to point this out but...

At Sessions' confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, four Department of Justice lawyers who had worked with Sessions testified that he had made several racist statements. One of those lawyers, J. Gerald Hebert, testified that Sessions had referred to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) as "un-American" and "Communist-inspired" because they "forced civil rights down the throats of people."[6] Hebert said that Sessions had a tendency to "pop off" on such topics frequently and had once called a white civil rights lawyer who dealt with voting rights suits a "disgrace to his race."

Help a blogger out

The wonderful Driftglass has sadly gotten an involuntary headstart on the double-dip recession. Help him out if you're able.

Remember people

It's the birth of a new ocean, NOT a Georgia O'Keeffe painting!



(Maybe it's the Virgin Mary?)

All this stuff about firing Dave Weigel

Because of his thoughts on a private listserve can be dangerous.

I mean, what happens when we find out John Derbyshire belongs to a listserve for racist-furries?

Oh, that's right -- nothing. It's called the Pat Buchanan/Washington Post Conservative columnists rule. Sometimes referred to as IOKIYAR.

Happens everytime

Whenever I get pissed off at Democratic incompetence or inaction, I'm reminded of the alternative:

Gohmert: There's A Diabolical 30-Year Plot To Have Terrorist Babies Born In U.S.!


Other diabolical 'Mexican' plots included finding ways to lose in the first knock-out round at the World Cup five consecutive times -- lulling Americans into a false sense of security, or something. To paraphrase the old saying "Poor Mexico, so far from being Brazil or Argentina, so close to idiots from Texas."

Update on my suburban slum

Turns out it was just a gas leak, not a meth lab.

Which is completely dull and unexciting.

Operation Enduring Aggravation

As we are told that austerity is needed in government and we'll have to get less, it is becoming quite clear where our spending priorities lie.

We're going to be need another $33 billion for Afghanistan this year. So what's that, another couple dozen alleged Al Qaeda to chase around and ultimately toss around missiles at?

Meanwhile, we're getting value for our money all over that place.


Top officials in President Hamid Karzai's government have repeatedly derailed corruption investigations of politically connected Afghans, according to U.S. officials...


Oh, and wait there's more...

even as the United States and its allies pour money in, U.S. officials estimate that as much as $1 billion a year is flowing out as part of a massive cash exodus.


Hmmm, maybe we should pay Karzai $2 billion to encourage him to keep that billion from leaving?

Meanwhile, no extended unemployment benefits for Americans.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Most irrelevant jobs

Covering the MLS during the World Cup has to be up there.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Just an ordinary Sunday of breaking bad

Nothing quite like having your residence block emptied and standing outside for two hours because of a "chemical explosion" in another unit.

It's Iowa, so you can guess what probably means.

Better hope third time isn't the charm

The U.S. has lost to Ghana the last two World Cups. And it's hard to really dislike a small African country, so good for them -- while mistakes or good fortune were involved in both goals, what their two players did with those chances reflected a hell of a lot of skill. Ghana didn't have the excellent midfielder Michael Essien and fielded a really young team that doesn't play all that cohesively yet because they're all so young.

But what talent, when these guys get older they are going to be really tough to beat -- I certainly wouldn't want to be in their group in 2014.

So, who are we supposed to root for now?

The face of the deficit scolds

David Walker is the CEO of the Pete Peterson Commission, the group that would rather cut the food stamp program in the middle of a famine than feed people. They are, quite frankly, the most dangerous economic group in the world -- they want YOU to suffer so they can be even richer.

Not surprisingly -- and never really taken to task -- are his statements like this:

The very first speaker was David Walker, the former Comptroller General of the US and a longtime member of the hype machine about the federal budget deficit. Recently, on CNBC, Walker talked longingly about debtor’s prisons in the context of “personal responsibility.” Walker was booed by several people at the Los Angeles meeting. In his speech, he talked about the inescapability of structural deficits and being “very concerned for my country and my family’s future.”


His family, of course, is wealthier than hell. We have nearly 10% unemployment and these assholes want retrenchment.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

But the falsehoods have already circled the earth a million times

As usual:

It was obvious to anyone who actually bothered to read the stolen "climategate" emails that they didn't actually contain anything particularly scandalous, and they certainly didn't contain anything at all that remotely called into the question the legitimacy of years of science demonstrating the effect of human activity on climate change.

But once the name "climategate" was affixed to the trumped-up non-scandal and printed in large type in a major newspaper, it didn't matter what the emails said. Not a whit. Emails, scandal, "-gate" -- there must be something to this!

There wasn't. Amazingly, The Sunday Times of London has now effectively retracted its most damning stories on the manufactured outrage. Months too late, obviously.


Of course, the talk radio fucktards are not going to correct their own record, if they did that, they'd have nothing else to talk about for decades. No, because of this patently made up story that was perpetuated by a large group of idiots that either didn't understand -- or more importantly didn't care -- climate legislation was effectively killed.

Awesome.

Funny the things that will get you out at the Washington Post

Sleeping your way to the top is fine. Never meeting a war you didn't like is fine. Taking speaking fees from groups you praise in columns, fine. Say something unflattering about Matt Drudge among a small group of people, well that is verboten.

If The Post wants to assign a “good neutral reporter” to cover conservatives, “we’d be thrilled,” said Gainor. But quickly added, Weigel “wasn’t one. He looked at the conservative movement as if he was visiting a zoo. We’re more than that.”


Gainor's right, in zoo's somebody cleans out the shit.

Friday, June 25, 2010

You're the man now dog!

Dumbshit vuvuzela-using douchebags finally drive their dog too far -- and fido delivers just deserts!

And the most incredible thing about you is you are still pulling a sizeable paycheck in a time of nearly 10% unemployment

Kissing enough ass Bobo?

The most interesting part of my job is that I get to observe powerful people at close quarters. Most people in government, I find, are there because they sincerely want to do good.


And now it appears it is time to dig out an ol' chestnut:

DAVID BROOKS IN HISTORY

Austria Ready for Unification's Message
by David Brooks


Vienna Times, March 10, 1938

Yesterday, Chancellor Schuschnigg announced a plebiscite on whether Austria will remain independent, or follow the natural dictates of its ethnic composition and join with growing Germany, now seemingly reborn under the steady and determined leadership of its Fuhrer, Austrian native, Adolf Hitler.

To some this seems to be an example of Schnuschnigg caving in to the pressures of the more dynamic and strong-willed German leader, but those with this view are clearly a minority.

It is true that the intellectuals of Vienna bemoan the apparent loss of an Austria identity through an alliance with the German Reich. However, as one who has traveled throughout the Tirol on many a skiing vacation, rather than just confining myself to effete coffee-houses, like Herr Krugmann, I can tell you that the feelings of those in the city favoring non-confederation, let's call them "pessimists", are not shared by the common Austrians that make up the back bone of this land. I like to call them, "anschlussmists"

These common people, the people of the beer halls, sausage factories, clock makers, puppeteers, and all those wearing the brown-shirt and leiderhosen of pride agree that it is better for Austria's future to join in league with its powerful and upward-moving neighbor to the north than to remain in a state of meaningless independence.

It is true the pessimists, comprised as they are of intellectuals, artists, and financiers, all have financial or religious reasons for opposing the plan so advocated by Herr Hitler and now the strong-willed Schuschnigg. However, their claims and concerns seem both overwrought and unduly dour, especially to the average hard-working Austrian of the Alps who unarguably have made this country what it is. What the family in Innsbrook wants may not seem right and proper to the academic in Vienna, but that does not mean that the bulk of the former will not have their voices heard.

It is true that Herr Hitler has, while rising to power in Berlin, made statements regarding Jews that are strident and even accurately called impolite. However, now that he has taken political power in Germany, other than minor changes in the law, he has yet to put this rhetoric into practice. There is little evidence at this point that even if that language was something he was serious about, which it is likely he was not, it is language of the past and not of policy. Appealing to one's base through hyperbole is part and parcel of any political process and there is little evidence of any pending actions against jews*. It seems unlikely that Austrians have anything to worry about on this score and indeed such assertions now seem to be simply "fear mongering".

In the coming hours, Austrians will have to make the faithful decision, we must make sure that we respect the will of the majority and not let fear and use demogougery to cloud what should be evident to all.

Compare and Contrast


(pic from here)

VERSUS


(pic from here)

Just trying to discern

Whether at 11 p.m. eastern on Comedy Central, there was a broadcast of "Night & Day" ads with occasional 'Daily Show' commercials, or a 'Daily Show' broadcast with incessant "Night & Day" advertisements.

Well, he obviously had to go

I mean, so little truthiness:

[McCrystal] banned Fox News from the television sets in his headquarters.


How could the troops going to learn how to be President from Gretchen Carlson?

A Right-Wing and a Prayer


Well now that every Republican and Ben Nelson have voted against helping the unemployed in a New York Times styled act of bipartisanship we have but one choice.

Uh, have Joe Barton apologize to the spoiled unemployed?

What, have you no notion of reality?

No, we must do the rational and logical thing.

Pray!

Democrats See Signs of Hope in Job Trends


Behold, ye' unemployed and let not ye' despair.

And by that I mean, panic!

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Oh Happy Days

The happiest man in America about the McCrystal McFiring was David Gregory because it gave him yet another reason to have Great Great Grandpa McCain on to discuss the matter as well as the kids today and their Big Band music.

Game lasted so long the ball boys balls dropped

59-59 in the Fifth Set before being suspended...again. Lasted so long I'd thought BP might have actually gotten all the oil in the Gulf spilled.

59-59 in the Fifth set, ooh exciting...(please take that as you will).

Sadly, rather accurate

I do love how the interplay between Stewart & Oliver has been done during the course of the World Cup. It always ends the same, hilarious, way.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
World Cup 2010: Into Africa - US Beats Algeria
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

There's always someone even worse

The really bad thing about Huckabee, as described below, is that in the modern GOP there are a lot of people even worse:

Texas GOP Official Platform Calls for Imprisonment of Homosexuals and Supportive Heterosexuals

Les Cage aux for cryin' out loud!

The other day I wrote about the awesome wisdom of one Mike Huckabee -- especially in regard to whether gay couples should adopt -- for which his answer was "No" because children are not puppies.

Don't say Mike Huckabee never taught you anything.

Well, okay, go ahead.

But still, the right-reverend Yo-Yo Diet was not finished with us yet -- he had more special knowledge to distribute.

Gay sex, is, icky sex.

As opposed to completely non-icky sex like between these two:



But you see, we "misunderstand" the man, for he is familiar with "gay lingo" and proclaims:
"My use of the phrase 'ick factor' was as the established notion from within the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender (GLBT) community. It was not an indication of personal aversion, but rather a reference to an established phrase used mostly from same-sex marriage advocates and militants - not one I created," he wrote.


Except, of course, it is no such thing.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Vitter Campaign

Women, can't pay 'em to change your diaper and keep it private, can't go all stabby on 'em.

AIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Vitter's most trusted aide, the apparently aptly named Brent Furer, has a history of run-ins with the law, the most striking of which included a knife-wielding attack on his then-girlfriend in 2008.


Wow, and yet he keeps his job. IOKIYAR.

And how's that going for you?

Both England and the US may advance today (or, of course, they may not). But here is how Rupert Murdoch's British Crown Jewel, the Sun, reported it at the time of the draw:



Guy has a regular flock of Doocys at his "Beck" and call.

Meanwhile, Rupert continues to get all his news and information from his properties.

(pic from here)

A real winner

Harry Reid is the luckiest SOB on earth.

Sharron Angle, the GOP Nevada Senate candidate and tea party favorite, has had a rough start to her general campaign to unseat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV)...

...Adding to her troubles, Angle said in an interview with a local Nevada affiliate that the country’s unemployed are “spoiled“

Not to draw too broad a brush

But the French do seem to love pointless, destructive, dramas.

Just like every other country that mocks France for it.

Recusal, it's not for Scalia-types

Sure, I've got a fuckload of stock in drilling companies, but I'm as unbiased against the Kenyan Usurper as the next guy or gal.

I guess recalling bad spinach or grounding potentially deadly airplanes is for socialist pussies now too.

Content of lacking Character


Glenn Beck, once ratings gold -- now dependent upon selling it, is determined to make sure no American can ever have nice things, including memories.


Some of the nation's top civil rights leaders are angrily accusing right-wing media star Glenn Beck of "hijacking" the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech by planning to rally his conservative forces at the same Lincoln Memorial site on the anniversary date of Aug. 28...Beck claimed earlier this month on his radio show that one of his goals is to "reclaim the civil right movement," saying that it should be about individual liberties and not social justice...


So, essentially another Second Amendment rally, that's totally not at all offensive -- "why are you liberals always so anti-freedom AND good taste?"

Ah, but Glenn Beck and his Overton Windows just are not what they used to be -- so he's doing the brave thing and hiding behind others.

Now, the "Restoring Honor" rally is billed is as "a non-political, non-partisan event will recognize our First Amendment rights and honor the service members who fight to protect those freedoms."


Oh, I'm sorry, I misspoke, it will be a rally to honor the First Amendment...which will undoubtedly be about their right to scream how much they love the Second Amendment, (don't mention the first clause).

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Get Ready ...

...for a big-ass round of "Leave General McChrystal aloooooooone!"

We're about to see who the real wimps are.

Update: I see that the whining has already begun.

The Life Moronic



Priests are father's too? Okay, that's not witty nowadays, unless you're a Borgia, it's just creepy.

Somebody is a dumbass

And grossly insubordinate and needs to be summarily fired. Though I'd be surprised if that happened. Unleash your inner Truman Barack.

And then we need to look at the morass we are in and get out faster -- as the Republicans try to make the dumbass into a national hero.

America's Concern Troll


Now with more archetypicality:

This, of course, is the Obama enigma: Who is this guy? What are his core beliefs? The president himself is no help on this score. When it comes to his own image, he has a tin ear. He hugely misunderstood what some people were saying when they demanded that he get angry over the gulf oil catastrophe


So it's come to this, Cohen just badly re-writes three-week old Maureen Dowd columns -- already badly written to begin with.

Put this one in a time-capsule and call it the ultimate Cohen column...now here's to hoping it is the penultimate one...or even better the last one.

...because I am completely sure people will want to put Richard Cohen columns in a special time-capsule known as a septic tank.

John C. Calhoun...Viking fan


Hayne finally get's a chance to respond to Webster's Second Reply (oh, the joys of historical technicalities) in the natural place...

Minnesota.

The U.S. Constitution expressly states that Acts of Congress “shall be the supreme law of the land…anything in the Constitution or laws of any State to the contrary notwithstanding,” thus expressly establishing that states do not have a veto power over federal laws. Nevertheless, in an op-ed entitled “States Need Veto on Federal Power,” Minnesota Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Tom Emmer argues that states should be able to ignore this part of the Constitution

The day someone's wife learned a few things

Underwhelming under-performance finally hits home.

Shecky the Candidate


Having disappeared into the bosom of the FoxNews Republican propaganda machine, especially in comparison to Sarah Palin, conservative Presidential aspirant Mike Huckabee has been trying out his new comedy routine. Aside from the very thought of Mike Huckabee being President, that is.

A couple months ago, he tossed out this knee-slapper:

During a conversation with the College of New Jersey's student publication, the Perspective, Huckabee reiterated his support for an Arkansas law that would ban same-sex couples from adopting children..."Children are not puppies"


No, children are not puppies, apparently they are sausage casings.

And as he prepares his act for Iowa's finest mall Chik-Fil-A's, Mike Huckabee has more material. Between prayer vigils over the Gulf and getting Levi Johnston out of the house...yet again, Palin recently let slip her ambivalence about pot, and Huckabee made ready the rim-shot:

After Sarah Palin made these comments she then produced a gram of coke from her purse and did line after line on the glass table...This is gonna be on YouTube. I can feel it coming on.


You Tube is also not a puppy.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Monday, June 21, 2010

Beyond Parody

Hey, CNN, let's have a paid BP Shill cloaked as one of your "contributors" come in and blame Obama instead of BP without stating he's a paid BP shill.

Just like you've done with the same asshole before.

Mmmmmm, that sounds like modern Village-based Journalism.

What does the American Al Qaeda Douche

Have in common with Rush Limbaugh...other than being a douche of course?

Adam Gadahn, the U.S.-born al Qaeda spokesman, made a sweet new "vlog" for his favorite American, President Obama! "You slither snakelike into the second year of your reign as a purported president of change," he said.

Funny how that works

The blockade the Israeli's had imposed that was just to keep weapons out of Gaza has now been eased...

...to keep weapons out of Gaza.

Bowing to worldwide pressure and condemnation, Israel on Sunday formally announced an eased blockade of Gaza that could significantly expand the flow of goods overland into the impoverished coastal Palestinian enclave, isolated by the Israelis for three years.


So either the US Media kissing the ass of the Israeli government (notably excepting McClatchy as seemingly always) has been exposed...or it's just continuing on as before. After all, preventing the import of arms was just the stated aim and the indirect benefit of the real policy -- economic warfare upon Gaza.

Le Douche


Last week Joe Lieberman was all hot-to-trot to just shut down the internet at the flick of a switch -- any old effort to deprive others of rights the moment his irritable bowel kicks in.

But now. Holy Joe, says not so fast:

He says it's all just "misinformation," and only wants the president to have the power to "disconnect the American Internet" when bad things happen.


Like when bloggers call Joe Lieberman an asshole -- causing the internet to be shut down permanently.

(pic from here)

Hey look somebody who flops around Ka-Ka like a Republican



And considering how often they criticize France, it's amazing how much spoiled millionaires share in common French or American.

Another lie another dollar

As the oil gusher that began in early Spring continues to spew into the start of Summer I suppose I could come up with something creative and novel. But instead I'll just note yet another lie from BP.


A BP estimate made after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon noted that as much as 100,000 barrels per day could leak into the ocean if the blowout preventer and wellhead were removed, a higher worst-case scenario than previously reported.


Which leads to the question of what were they lying about before?

The figure is the highest yet to surface regarding the leaking oil well. At the disaster's outset, BP claimed the leak was about 1,000 barrels a day, a number it later revised to 5,000 and then much higher. BP told the House Energy and Commerce Committee that the worst-case scenario was 60,000 barrels (2.5 million gallons) a day, lower than what the document states.


So when do they release the memo in which they admit they were just trying to bring about Joe Barton's opportunity for being raptured?

Whatever they're doing, Bill Kristol demands you be nice to them -- criticism is only for the small people.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Sunday, June 20, 2010

MATLOCK!!!


In today's episode, Grandpa Davey is grumpy the children don't call and let him have the grandkids sit on his lap and suck on a Werther's Original.*

Broder pooh poohs some Republicans, but still seems under the presumption that (a) Barack Obama is Red and/or Black Adair and (b) somehow the GOP knows how to stop the lead in the Gulf of Mexico.








*I'm sorry, does that read wrong?

It may say he's vacationing on a luxury yacht, but he's really chilling at a throatwarber mangrove

While Tony Hayward went off to a Yacht Race (no, not kidding) BP has found other crimes to commit.

When the weather is calm and the sea is placid, ships trailing fireproof booms corral the black oil, the coated seaweed and whatever may be caught in it, and torch it into hundred-foot flames, sending plumes of smoke skyward in ebony mushrooms. This patch of unmarked ocean gets designated over the radio as "the burn box."...

By unhappy coincidence, the same convergences of ocean currents that create long mats of sargassum — nurturing countless crabs, slugs and surface fish that are crucial food for turtles, birds and larger fish — also coalesce the oil, creating islands of death sometimes 30 miles long.

"Most of the Gulf of Mexico is a desert. Nothing out there to live on. It's all concentrated in these oases," Witherington said.

"Ordinarily, the sargassum is a nice, golden color. You shake it, and all kinds of life comes out: shrimp, crabs, worms, sea slugs. The place is really just bursting with life. It's the base of the food chain. And these areas we're seeing here by comparison are quite dead," he said.


And apparently even when you have a chance to save something, you get told on occasion to burn it.

A shrimp boat captain in Louisiana hired by BP was blocked from rescuing juvenile Kemp's ridleys that were covered in oil in the Gulf waters. He was captured on video saying that the turtles are being collected in the clean-up efforts and burned up like so much ocean debris with other marine life gathering along tide lines where oil also congregates.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The difference between Al Franken and Michelle Bachman is...

One was capable of making a fine living as a comedian, the other is a clown for free.

Ironically, I just go to Teabagger rallies


For the pictures.

Paid pol spills beans on Teabaggery. "A Fool and his money are soon parted".

(pic from here)

Friday, June 18, 2010

I'm starting to wonder

If Wayne Rooney really wants to grow a beard and a boiler and live out his days eating cold beans in a small motor home?

France, England and today Germany all having bad World Cups.

NOW we know what it is like to be soccer nation

The combined aggrieved feeling of being royally screwed by a ref.

Now if we can just get better chants than "U-S-A!" and "[fill in name] sucks!" we'll be really closing the gap on the rest of the world.

On the other hand, Joe Barton just apologized to BP for that awful officiating.

This one is a tough one to pick

I admit, in some World Cup matches I have a few general rules to follow in picking which team to root for. I try to pick the team with the best human rights record history with some notion of recent improvements to their conduct. For example, this makes South Africa easy to cheer for.

However, it makes the Germany vs. Serbia match early this morning tough to pick.

Plus, he may very well be a prince of a human being in real life, and for all I know he is, but Nemanja Vidic of Serbia looks like a person Interpol is trying to capture for trial in the Hague.



UPDATE: Deadspin gets in on the fun (though it would work better if it was Austria or Hungary vs. Serbia.

Slum Dog Genocide

This will not end well:

Bollywood is now planning to cash in. A film - Dear Friend Hitler - is due to be released by the end of the year, focusing on the dictator's relationship with his mistress Eva Braun.

It's hard to narrow down what makes the dictator popular in India, but some young people say they are attracted by his "discipline and patriotism".

Nobody could have anticipated

That's what friends are for -- and they are not the "small people":

The judge that BP wants to hear an estimated 200 lawsuits over the Gulf of Mexico oil disaster gets tens of thousands of dollars a year in oil royalties and is paid travel expenses to industry conferences, financial disclosure forms show.

He says "he is very sorry for being sorry about not feeling sorry for you and your sorry ass"

As I was saying...

Joe Barton would like to once again say to his friends at BP, he is sorry for embarrassing them over apologizing and expressing his embarrassment at BP was sorrily treated by Obama. Poor BP had to just sit there yesterday and be apologized to by Joe Barton and for that he is truly sorry.

And especially to his dear, and very sorrowful friend Tony Hayward, who looked all day as if Michael Sheen was playing the role reserved for Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon, he is very sorry for expressing his sorrow in such a sorry way.

Especially since most of Joe Barton's Republican colleagues are in agreement with his sentiments -- for which they should be made quite sorrowful the next five months.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Joe Barton apologizes all over again

To his friends at BP, for embarrassing them over apologizing for his expression of embarrassment for how his friends at BP were treated by Obama. Poor BP had to just sit there and be apologized to and for that he is truly sorry.

I bet this really tans his hide


BONER!

House Republican Leader John Boehner bought between $15,000 and $50,000 in stock in BP, the company responsible for the spill that has spurred an environmental disaster. Boehner, of West Chester, purchased the stock on Dec. 10, four months before the April 20 explosion that set off the spill...


No wonder he was inclined to have the tax payer chip in.

Tony Hayward

If Michael Sheen was to play both parts in Frost/Nixon, you'd have a good idea of how Tony Hayward appears right now before the House Committee.

Dear Democrats

You might want to make a commercial or two off of Joe Barton's statement at House hearings today apologizing to Tony Hay-zel-ward for Obama being mean to him and making his company pay for its clusterfuckery.

James Risen is on Facebook?

Is he just there to find things to beat off to?

Oh, and everything he was accused of -- and got so pissy about -- in his conveniently timed article on Afghani mineral wealth?

Turn out to be true, by his own admission.

The nice thing about the Smoting of Big Butter Jesus

Is it's one of those events where you make a joke and have to ask, "too soon"? It's one of those you make a joke...

"My God, my God, why has thou polyunsaturated me?"

...and ask, "too late?"

By the way, they are determined to rebuild it, because this Act of God has clearly demonstrated he approved of gigantic, tacky, graven images. Othewise, how do you explain Perez Hilton (personally, my argument of "There is no God" works everytime).

Awkward

Sorry if there are too many World Cup posts -- but this is pretty rich -- and if you speak Spanish maybe you can confirm what is said.

...how would you like to be one of the goats of your heavily favored team losing to to a huge underdog?

Well, there are worse things.

...what if right after the game you are interviewed?

Again, not awful.

...what if that person is your smart-assed significant other?

Enjoy a few minutes with Spanish Goalkeeper Iker Casillas being interviewed by his girlfriend reporter Sara Carbonero.

Carbonero then gave Casillas a difficult time in a post-match interview, opening her questions with: "How did you manage to muck that up?"




Hey, it's not like he lost a leg, or had to be cleaned with Dawn dishwashing liquid.

But when it comes to slaughter, you will do your work on water...

For those of you who have wondered how a disconnected master of inappropriate statements like BP CEO Tony Hayward became the voice of the company, BP's Chairman, Carl-Henric Svanberg, clarifies it for you:
He [Obama] is frustrated because he cares about the small people, and we care about the small people...we care about the small people.

Sorry for beating and flailing you small people of the Gulf!

Yes, suddenly BP truly cares for the little people. One can't help but wonder if this is just angling for some offset of the escrow fund via a reality show on TLC.

Maybe these two should get together with Iowa congressional mascot Steve King and Glenn Beck so they can all get their statements about "the white man's burden" distilled into their fluoride-free essence.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Clearly, the most accurate Twitter account

On the internets.

Those who never bothered to learn history

Are fated to irritate those of us who have learned some with their unceasing line of patent bullshit.

For example, this little note about the Teabagger trying to make like George Washington would approve of armed rebellion against the U.S. Government:

Barber's ad invokes patriots such as George Washington apparently to support a proposition that Washington would surely have found abhorrent: that citizens should engage in armed rebellion in response to government actions sanctioned by our Constitution. In fact, we know precisely how President Washington would have responded if the armed rebellion suggested by Barber materialized: he would have crushed it. We know this because just such a rebellion - the Whiskey Rebellion - happened during Washington's presidency.

Like Barber and his tea party friends, the whiskey rebels of the late 18th Century believed the federal government had overreached and had unfairly imposed taxes upon them. As recounted in Ron Chernow's brilliant biography of Alexander Hamilton, President Washington -- surely the greatest patriot this country has known -- determined this rebellion must be crushed, stating that if "a minority is to dictate to the majority, there is an end put at one stroke to republican government." (p. 473) Then the 62-year old Father of our Country joined Alexander Hamilton and the federal army on a westward journey that put the rebellion to rest.

President Washington would have "gathered the armies" if Barber made good on his veiled threats, not in support of, but in opposition to, Barber's objectives.


To Glenn Beck the whiskey rebellion is what caused him to become a Mormon.

Via Nitpicker.

This is one reason to love big sports deals

Like the Olympics, but frankly shown more in the world cup, a chance to see how much it means for people to be there when their anthem plays...it is touching, even when the regime of the country they represent is as detestable as North Korea. It is still a great moment of humanity.

Just a guess...

But I'm willing to bet Sarah Palin's favorite legendary Dutchman is Don Quixote.

Yes, the Norwegians are known for their dikes...uh, what?

I know the nation is terribly disappointed that Obama isn't actually Red Black Adair, but I don't miss having idiots trying to fix shit. They'd have dropped the bomb and had BP drilling for radioactive crude by now.

Good going Celtics

That should be one hell of a confidence booster for game 7.

Oh well, I'll be asleep before that one also. And I really don't care who wins, I just hope for those of you who do not go to be early, the game is worth staying up for.

Although it's hard not to root against whatever Bill Simmons is cheering for. If I could confirm Rick Reilly is for the Celtics, I'll start cheering for LA.

Going small versus going crazy

I'm just another blogger who doesn't conduct themselves in a James Risen-approved manner. However, it does seem sometimes that there are three general types of American elected officials: the Republicans leased by the oil industry from the NRA; those Democrats leased by the oil industry from the DLC; and the remaining Democrats who are not, but wonder if they've made a mistake?

I don't expect the President of the United States to be the P.O.'d-in-Chief, but I do expect them to make a hell of a lot more of an opportunity to enact, y'know, CHANGE, when the opportunity is presented. But I do think I understand Rahm Emanuel's plan -- and let's just get rid of the facade -- the President's plan.

"We may think disappointingly small, but at least we're not crazy!"

I graduated from a State University belonging to an athletic conference that cannot perform simple addition, but even I know that in 2010, like Clinton in 1994, Obama is asking his base to vote against something without generating much enthusiasm for himself or the Party. That does seem to be going awfully small and, yes, even a tad crazy.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Isn't It Ironic?

Actually, the first "I" word that came to mind was infuriating.

Please explain to me why I should continue to vote for Democrats that legislate like Republicans.

Petraeus finds out about Big Butter Jesus

You find out with that and then have to deal with McCain's ass-kissing it would make you sick too.



via Firedoglake

The GREATEST Story ever told


"OH THE CHRISTIANITY!"

BIG BUTTER JESUS MELTS...

MONROE, Ohio – A six-story-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms raised along a highway was struck by lightning in a thunderstorm Monday night and burned to the ground, police said.

The "King of Kings" statue, one of southwest Ohio's most familiar landmarks, had stood since 2004 at the evangelical Solid Rock Church along Interstate 75 in Monroe, just north of Cincinnati.


I ACCUSE BIG MARGARINE JUDAS!

Who the fuck is Pat Robertson going to blame this one on?


I just hope they got some shellfish out to take advantage of this situation...oh, right.

Oh well, look for him to be assembled in four-quarters in three days, with a bad case of "stick-mata".

(sorry Neil Young)

Teabaggers and Palin coming,
those immigrants on their own.
This summer I saw the lightning,
Lord melts in Ohio.


...built by Halliburton.

I could do this literally all day...perhaps even 40 days...perhaps until the second melting, er, coming....and I'm guessing I probably will.

(pic from here)

The sum of their parts

So in a truly fitting end result for college athletics some of our nation's most prestigious institutions of higher learning, and Iowa State*, are going to stay with calling themselves the Big 10, with 12 teams and the Big 12, with 10 teams.

Truly, intellectual property law is a confusing business.



*I kid...sort of.

American's hate Soccer


This is the war cry of about an equal number of conservatives and sports radio blowhards.

Well...about that:

# The TV audience for England against United States, on both ABC and Univision combined, was an astounding 17.0 million, according to Sports Media Watch.

# The 17.0 million USA v England viewing number is bigger than the first four games of the NBA Finals (14.1 mil, 15.7 mil, 16.0 mil and 16.4 mil). That’s quite an accomplishment considering that the first four games of the NBA Finals have hit a six-year high in overnight ratings, with the exception of Game 1 — which tied a six-year high. Game 5 of the NBA finals netted a viewing audience of 18.2 million.


The NBA finals are also broadcast in prime time, not early afternoon/late morning - though it obviously helps this was on a weekend.

You also, in this case, have to account somewhat that the numbers are low because even in the US, soccer has an awful lot of folks that go to bars to watch the game, a ritual adopted from England and other soccer crazed countries. This is somewhat true for the NFL (especially the Super Bowl) , but I would bet it's much more common among soccer viewers.

The point isn't that soccer is going to supplant the NFL or Major League Baseball or the NBA but it is certainly a popular sport amongst Americans and to look down one's noses at it when compared to other sports just shows you to be the xenophobic idiot you are. It's just as worthy of respect, and/or disinterest as the rest of them.

(pic is the emblem of Hartlepool United FC -- an English club with the rather bizarre, mythically-based, nickname of "The Monkey Hangers")

Dear Media...they're not important!

So what if a Bush Twin is happy "Health Care Reform" passed. They haven't done anything really cool.

It's not like her parent quit their job halfway through and was the ice-coated boatanchor upon the SS Titanic GOP ticket of 2008. It isn't like she got herself knocked up as a teen, only to get $30,000 a pop...[beat one, two, three] for speaking about abstinence.

Twitter is down

How am I supposed to keep "Justin Bieber's Vuvuzela" trending?





...hmmm, maybe I should have put that another way, makes me sound like a priest.

Deja Screwed

This may require Glenn Beck's blackboard, or better yet, one that makes sense, the LA Times.

Under International law, offshore oil rigs like the Deepwater Horizon are treated as ships, and companies are allowed to "register" them in unlikely places such as the Marshall Islands, Panama and Liberia — reducing the U.S. government's role in inspecting and enforcing safety and other standards.


Sounds more than dodgy enough, the Amoco Cadiz after all was owned by Amoco, but registered in Liberia, go on...

The Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded in the Gulf of Mexico was built in South Korea. It was operated by a Swiss company under contract to a British oil firm. Primary responsibility for safety and other inspections rested not with the U.S. government but with the Republic of the Marshall Islands — a tiny, impoverished nation in the Pacific Ocean.


Hey, the Marshall islands are only in two completely different hemispheres, but I understand they are to oil rig inspection what the Swiss are to Nazi war booty chocolate.

The Marshall Islands, where have we recently seen that name crop up?

Oh yeah, Casino Jack Abramoff.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Monday, June 14, 2010

Oh man, don't show 'em the video from Rush's latest wedding



I'm amazed this is an issue, as Elton John will clearly do anything for a buck:

Belarus, the 18-year-old country carved out of the Soviet Republic, is an expert at shutting down the gays. So it makes sense the country's Public Council for Morality plans to study the performances of Elton John to ensure that when he comes to Belarus' capital Minsk on June 26 to perform, he isn't going to fag it all up.


Gay publications can say anything, I guess. On the other hand, maybe they've no problem with furries?

Via Gawker.

Just like American Football, a brief burst of violence, followed by a committee meeting

Sounds okay at first:

Israel has appointed a commission—including two international observers—to investigate the raid that killed nine in May.


The two internationals are unnamed, but will probably be Joe Lieberman and Bill Kristol.


(caption from an old George Carlin joke)

Good news Everyone

All that depression you feel over the longest lasting war in America's history has finally paid off -- in the form of more available mood altering chemicals!

The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself...


And then, Dick Cheney (it must be Dick Cheney) continued...

An internal Pentagon memo, for example, states that Afghanistan could become the “Saudi Arabia of lithium,” a key raw material in the manufacture of batteries for laptops and BlackBerrys.


...and bipolarity.

Hard to Believe

Two jackasses with the last names of Quinn and Malkin do battle, and they aren't even the two you'd think they are.

That's so disappointing.

Hard to believe

That a movie industry that thought it was an awesome idea to remake the Karate Kid (we've found someone more obnoxious than Ralph Macchio!, but hey it did open somewhat big), the A-Team (with this and 'Release the Kraken' we know Liam Neeson is entering his Michael Caine 'just give me the check' phase), a live action Marmaduke (seriously, what the fuck? -- what's next a live-action 'Blondie' or 'Mary Worth'?), and a Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie movie only with true "megastars" Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Hegel would be stunned about how shitty the box-office receipts are. [Hey, everybody, long enough sentence for you?]

But, yeah, making yet another comic book movie set in the Old West will be the sure cure.

And speaking of box-office failures.

Hey, English Goal Keeper Robert Green

It's still only the second worst goal an Englishman has let in.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Which is the Bigger Crime?

Okay, indulge me a watertiger moment here.

I'm not even going to get into the politics of this article. I just have one question. Which is worse? Being in this country illegally or wearing that shirt?

The things you learn

Local New York store out of Grey Goose on Friday morning:

Greene

I missed the Alvin Greene thing while I was away, but now, having read about it, I have one obvious question: where was the South Carolina Democratic Party before primary day? Didn't they check this guy out? How about the national party? Where was Bob Mendendez, for example? The NYT (in its crappy article about the subject), indicates that Carol Fowler, wife of Democratic party power broker (and former DNC chair) Donnie Fowler, is the South Carolina State Democratic Party chair. Well, where the hell was she before this guy got on the primary ballot?

I missed this

During the USA/England match yesterday...I must have been out by the grill, or taking a leak ... or maybe, being an American, doin' both simultaneously. But this is both hilarious and disturbingly American at the same time (sort of like a heavy-handed British parody of America in a way). 0:39 to 0:43 or so is awesome.

Thanks to Thers for informing me of it.

How it used to be


BP in the United States used to be mostly "AMOCO" (ie Standard Oil of Indiana). The latter had the good sense to generally fuck up and create needless environmental disasters off the coast of France instead of off the coast of the U.S.

You'd think a British company would be able to keep up that not-so-noble tradition, but NOOOOOOO!

I'm going to guess

That when it's an "anchor baby" of a hue different than hers, amateur scream therapist, Michelle Malkin will be either amazingly silent, or amazingly hypocritical.

Oh who the fuck am I kidding, definitely the latter:

Buoyed by recent public opinion polls suggesting they're on the right track with illegal immigration, Arizona Republicans will likely introduce legislation this fall that would deny birth certificates to children born in Arizona - and thus American citizens according to the U.S. Constitution - to parents who are not legal U.S. citizens. The law largely is the brainchild of state Sen. Russell Pearce, a Republican whose suburban district, Mesa, is considered the conservative bastion of the Phoenix political scene. He is a leading architect of the Arizona law that sparked outrage throughout the country: Senate Bill 1070


And, as ever, Pearce will style himself the most awesome libertarian in existence adhearing to each an everyword of the Constitution -- except, of course, those who doesn't like, like the 14th Amendment.

The new Republican Party -- "we're going to pass an Unconstitutional law, we're awesome -- up next the First Amendment!"

Because the only Amendment that matters is the 2nd Amendment.

Bad Press

How'd you like to be a family member of England's goal keeper today...those English Daily's are always so polite?



I blame the Vuvuzelas.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Chow Down South

Hey. Pardon my extended absence. Just returned from a little trip. The GC is a vegetarian, so we're always on the lookout for good restaurants that are either vegetarian or that feature lots of interesting vegetarian options. We found four in the course of our trip and I wanted to give them all a shout-out. Check them out if you're down that way.

Asheville, North Carolina:
  • Rosetta's Kitchen (We shared some hummus and then I had the coconut curry plate and The GC had "The Mountain". That Mountain changed my mind about tempeh.)
  • Green Sage Cafe (We had a really yummy breakfast here. I loved the biscuits.)
Charleston, West Virginia: Bluegrass Kitchen (I had the asparagus and grilled bleu cheese sandwich on toast. The GC tried the veggie burger. We shared a slice of mixed berry buttermilk pie. I wish I knew how to make that pie.)

Lexington, Kentucky: Alfalfa Restaurant (I had these Singapore-style rice noodles with baby bok choy, mushrooms, carrots, and a few other veggies. The GC had hoppin' john. And we shared a slice of whole wheat carrot cake.)

Bigotry is bigotry is bigotry

This is awful from Charles Schumer.

What Tristero says.

The politics of the Middle East and the U.S. about the Middle East have on all sides stooped to such a level the whole thing needs a big top. It's so ridiculous, I despair there will never be a non-offensive utterance eminating from or about the region ever again.

If you had World Cup Fever

Going into yesterday's France vs. Uruguay Match-Up, you might of died of it.

Thanks to Thierry Henri's handball in qualifying, most of the World (and isn't most of the world Irish?) was routing against France. But, after seeing how they play, I think most of the world has decided they hate Uruguay too. Every negative stereotype about soccer, other than flopping and hooliganism was on display.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Strange and just fucking sad

This is strange (and not a small bit sad).

What the hell? At this point, it's the only reaction we can have to Alvin Greene, the unemployed veteran who beat out a much more-qualified opponent in the South Carolina Democratic Senate primary. Watch his halting Countdown interview for yourself.


This, however, is just fucking sad.

24 year old Luke Russert, speaking of the South Carolina Democratic primary:


"I've been covering politics for this network for two years and been around politics my whole life and this is the strangest story I've ever seen."


You've barely had your pubes come in you nepotism-blessed jackass, shut your gob. It's bad enough dealing with Broder when it's Broder -- fuck if I'm going to put up with from NBC News's fetted Jonas Brother-like asshole.